lethargy is contagious

There are days I would like to cry, laugh, kiss, shout, run, talk, anything but sit & type.

Colors in afternoon

If only I could for a moment stop the actual living in Saigon and looking at it from above, or from a dream, a dream of reality, for I want to fully absorb and watch this beautiful gold/saffron/gray color of the sky, of the light, without having to tolerate this intolerable heat.

I once had a dream, or was it a dreamy reality, of this scene. Exactly the color, the atmosphere, the stillness of the air looking from the balcony and its half-dry, half-humid air. The scene could be so perfect and so surreal it made me overwhelmingly sad. Even now, I don't remember whether it was a dream, or a reality. Every time I see sky like this in a late afternoon, I wonder the same thing.

Today once again the sky looks like that. So surreal, so sad, so intolerable and yet strikingly beautiful. The only difference is that now it's raining, but the rain does not affect the sky, the atmosphere or the color. I wonder if many years from now I would remember this evening like I remember the other one now?

Connections

Sometimes when you stop to think and disengage yourself from your worries, life becomes a magical networks with unfathomable events. Imagine this...

I was at a café last night and heard some catchy tunes they played. When I went home I had no ideas of the lyrics nor the content of the song. I texted someone, asking him about the name of the song, giving him one hint about something I barely remember, 3 words at most. I had barely any hopes then. Hours later, he texted me back its name, I searched and found out that is exactly the song I wanted to find.

How rare is that? 

April 2011

In theory, it's always easier to fantasize standing up against the world, to fight all the prejudices and to go against the flow. In practice, it's easier to choose the safest way out, to go with the flow and avoid rebelling against the status quo, avoid listening to your inner-self for fear that it tells you something too difficult to do. The safest way will safeguard us against hurting ourselves, for we have become too cynical and scarred of the outside world that opening our soul inevitably means welcoming danger.